If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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