i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
