I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
