I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
