My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
