Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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