I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
