I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
