I like my sex mixed with concussions.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
