i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
