Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
