I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I am naked and annoyed.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
