You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
