The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
