pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
