people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
