my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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