Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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