I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
