Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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