Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize