Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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