I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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