Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
