I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Randomize
