so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
