It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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