He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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