U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
