Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
