oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
