Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Me too!
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
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