We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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