barbara walters just said penis...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
