is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
