It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
