I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
