I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
