last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
