remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
