But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
