So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
