remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
