that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I don't deserve a penis
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
