puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
