So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
