I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
