Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
