doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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