I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
porn star boner night. come get it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
