This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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