i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
