btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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