She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
